Writing to you from some battle

All that endurance I built up last spring for our recital? Gone. Totally gone. My legs are feeling quite like spaghetti and I probably look like an old lady as I walk around the apartment. At least I know that means I'm working cause if I wasn't feeling a thing, I wouldn't be getting my money's worth.

And speaking of feelings, I had the great opportunity to catch all three parts of The Great Game: Afghanistan this weekend at Shakespeare Theatre (put on by Tricycle Theatre out of London, UK-here's their blog about the US tour of the show). The Great Game features twelve one act plays with some verbatim political speeches and monologues/dialogues scattered throughout that focus on the western influence in Afghanistan. The first play is set in 1840s with the British forces occupying Afghanistan to the present day by the end of the cycle.

Most of the plays moved me in various ways, and I felt much more educated on the history of western involvement with Afghanistan. (And I have learned new horrible ways in which people kill others and I'm not sharing because there are somethings you don't want engraved on your brain for the rest of your life.) Which probably isn't saying all that much because we really aren't taught all that much about that part of the world in school, or at least if we did, I don't remember a thing of it and history was a favorite subject of mine. I have ordered a copy of the script and I really wish I could use it for a book discussion. I think that would be fabulous.

It really is worth you time and money to see this production if you can. By the time I saw the last play, I wanted to wholeheartedly adopt the entire cast and keep them over here in the US I just grew to love them that much over the course of the day. As my friend pointed out, it was like seeing an entire season of theatre in one day.

Then on my way home on the metro, I pulled out my ARC of Sugar and Ice by Kate Messner because I felt I needed something light. She is an author from my home town, and while I have not read her earlier book, I am sure that this one won't fail to delight me. As it is, I was drawn to feeling like I was back home because the names she uses are all so familiar. I lived next to a Ladue family and knew a Rabideau family. All so familiar. But what I found truly hilarious (and so exciting that I finally *got* and inside joke by an author) was when I read this description of a man:

"'Who's that guy?' He pointed to a skiny man with blond hair and glasses, sitting two tables over and smiling like crazy."

That man is her husband, Tom Messner, the weatherman at our local tv channel. My own grandmother fondly nicknamed him "Guy Smiley" because he always has the brightest smile on, even when predicting the worst blizzards possible. So I'm already laughing like crazy at this book and I'm only on page 20. I can't wait to see what other memories it holds for me!

Unrequited love: it can end when you choose.

Ballet has begin in earnest. As has the school year. This should hopefully get me back on track. ::fingers crossed:: Though did you really miss the crazy ramblings of Charlotte Bronte at all? Or, instead of being, in the words of Nat King Cole "Unforgettable", I am rather more "So forgettable". Perhaps I prefer it that way!

I most recently attended All's Well That Ends Well at Shakespeare Theatre in DC. It was one of the Bard's lesser done works as it is properly entitled a "problem play". Is it a comedy? Is it a tragedy? Well, there is a little bit of history since there is the King of France and an Italian war. This production, however, is set during World War I, so you must suspend your disbelief a bit, and believe that there is still a King of France. And he does play a pivotal role in the plot of this play. For you see, Helena (played by the wonderful Miriam Silverman), the daughter of a doctor, is in love with Bertram, a count, and also the son of her father's patron. Except her father is now dead as is his. Bertram does not love her. Not at all. She observes him from afar.

That is, until one day after he goes to the King's court, she follows to bring medicine, and a proposition, to the King. If she saves his life, he will allow her to marry any of the men at his court. He lives, and guess which man she selects? Bertram. He of course instantly objects and Helena realizes her folly only too late. But, the King will not relent. He promised her a man and she is going to get a man whether they like it or not. They marry, but Bertram leaves for the war that night, leaving her a message that she will never be his real wife until she has his ring on her finger and his baby inside her. And, oh, by the way, I will never return to France until you are dead.

Of course, come the second act, she follows him to Italy and through use of great trickery manages to accomplish his "impossible" demands. But, the real question is, at the end are they happy? Sure, they end up together (and this after Bertram attempts to woo an Italian girl and then later, thinking that Helena has died, returns to France to marry yet another girl), but is that the stuff marriages are made of?

It brings up the question of unrequited love. That perhaps it is better to stay unrequited and never speak of it. That way, you are only hurting yourself and are sparing the person you like. But, if one doesn't speak up, how then does anyone ever get together these day? What do you think? Is it better to keep it in or take the risk and let it all out?

Taking advantage of technology... finally!!

About six months ago I broke down and bought a Sony Reader. I might have mentioned it here. So far I have used it for a couple of PDFs, some eBooks from a vendor we use at work, and eBooks I have checked out of the public library. I really had not purchased any books for it or even downloaded books from Project Gutenberg. Until now.

Last week-end, I decided that I was not taking full advantage of my Reader. So, I am taking steps to correct this. I know that I will never give up all "real" books. But the Reader can be very useful for certain books. I have downloaded quite a few books from Project Gutenberg which I like to always have on hand. Including Shakespeare and Jane Austen! I have also started purchasing some books which I would ordinarily purchase in paperback if I happened to run across them. I have purchased a couple of Kay Hooper books which I have been wanting to re-read. Quick, yet entertaining! Unfortunately it is all too easy to make these purchases very quickly!

I am also going to start putting some of the PDF reports that I need should be reading for work on it. I even filled out the paperwork and got the signature/approval required to be able to bring it to work to read there! Yippee!

I must really be moving into the digital world. Which is good, since I am supposed to be working on a new digital curation kind of project!

Well, tomorrow after work I am heading straight to the airport to go visit my sister in Houston. Blech! Not looking forward to Houston, but excited to see my sister! And I will be taking my handy dandy Reader along for the ride! It will be great for traveling as I will only have to carry it instead of the 5 or so books I usually travel with. Just in case... you know? Since you never know what kind of book you might feel like reading while traveling!

Any suggestions for eBooks? I find that the non-fiction books I have been looking for (admittedly, a very new one and a very old one) have been hard to locate. As usual, I am open to suggestion!

Unpretty

So I'm sure I've mentioned this before or I did on my previous blog....I once had a serious boyfriend who wasn't so friendly. He constantly told me that I was fat and that I needed to do this and that to improve myself. Not really an encouraging guy, but I did stay with him for five years.

Lately I've been driving my parents' car and the V6 engine is making me fall in love and so is their Sirius radio. I've been rocking out to the 90s on 9 and I heard a song the other day that made me think:

Unpretty by TLC

I wish could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today (yeah)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'

[Chorus:]
You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too

Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm bein' stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me (hey)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'

And this is really how I felt. Before I had met him I thought I was pretty and that I was thin....but he got to me. He made me doubt myself and that's the key to this song.

At the end of the day I have myself to blame.

And that's the truth. I was the one who let him get to me. I was the one who let him make me think he was right and I needed to change. At the end of the day while I can hate him for everything it's really my own fault.

Eleanor Roosevelt said that no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. Well I gave him permission to make me feel inferior, but in the end it works out.

Why? Because now I know to not let this happen again. I know when to say "Hey. I am pretty. Go to hell."

So that's how I feel. And that's my lesson learned after five very long very hard years.

Look ma... two weeks in a row!

So, I was reading Library Journal at work today. We are supposed to read them; they get passed around. So, why do I always feel like I am playing hookie or something when I actually read them? The problem with this is that I end up with stacks of my hoarded journals that have not been passed on. I try to make sure I get them last so it does not matter how long they sit on my desk, unfortunately, what usually happens is that I get them last... except for our director upstairs. So, I just hope she has been busy enough to not realize that she has not been getting all of the library journals!

The reason I mention this is that last month when I actually tried to read an issue of LJ, I realized that most of the issue is reviews of new books. None of these books have any bearing whatsoever on my job. So instead, what I did back in the beginning of August was find books that I could request through my local public library for my own personal reading! AND, since I was a month or two behind, the books reviewed in this particular issue should be coming out any day now!

The book that struck the strongest chord with me was called Juliet by Anne Fortier. I picked it up from my library earlier this week and cannot stop reading it! I thought it was a YA book when I read the review, but it does not really seem like it when reading it, so I could have been wrong about that. It is a modern day story of Julie/Guilietta who was born in Italy but raised in America by an aunt after her parents death. She goes back to Italy looking for a treasure that her mother left for her. But she is pulled into the original/true story of Guilietta (her ancestor) and Romeo. You guessed it! The original story that Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was based on. It skips back and forth between the modern story and the story from A.D. 1340. So far it is fantastic! I know it is fiction, but the research that had to go into a story like this, which is based in history, always amazes me!

I think I am about half way done with it now, so perhaps next week I can give an update on how I liked the rest of it!

So my "Professional Development" time at work has really become my "find new books to read" time. Just don't tell the director! For that matter, don't mention that I have been hoarding LJs either!

Cars, jobs, and books...

Okay, okay, so I am a bad blogger! I never claimed to be otherwise. And, if Dorothy Parker cannot be a little unpredictable and irresponsible then what is this world coming to?! Let's just say I lost track of time at the Algonquin...

Really, life is just unpredictable. Just when you think things are going smoothly and you can relax for a while, well, your car dies! And I really loved my car! It is (was?) a 1996 Pontiac Sunfire. No power locks, no power windows, no little remote for unlocking doors or opening trunks. The air conditioning had given out a few years ago and the trunk was slightly smushed, hence no need for a trunk popper as I rarely opened the trunk since it had become a bit finicky about closing again! But I loved it. It was comfortable! You know that old couch which has formed to your body and is just the right size and shape for you so you feel like you are being hugged? THAT was my Sunfire.

Last week it died.

At least it waited until I got converted to a real job from my Graduate Research Assistant position, and moved into my new house (rented, not bought). So I know I will be employed long enough to pay for a new car. Hopefully. (And I use the term "new" loosely!)

So, I am actually very excited about my new car. It is a 2009 Mazda 3. The sedan, not the hatchback. It has LOTS of buttons and "power" things for me to play with! And this week-end I am going to drive it up to Denver to test it out! (Really, I was already supposed to go to Denver, since we have the concert tickets!) It is going to be a blast! And I can try out my new headlights (I think they are the nice Xenon ones!)

And if that were not enough, I get to see an old friend and go to Red Rocks Amphitheater to see Yonder Mountain String Band and Leftover Salmon! Woo hooo!

On to other matters... my librarian position is going to continue for at least 3 more years. Which is great news, I know, I know. BUT. I have been feeling ambivalent about it. I miss archives. It would be great to move into the archives "here," but I know their budget is even less than the library's so the chances of a position opening are slim to none. But a girl can hope. And I have been in touch with the "historian" so maybe he will think of me if something does open. And there are other groups which could have something open eventually.

Don't get me wrong. I do like my job. And most days I really like working here and doing what I do. But some days I just really miss archives. And preservation.

Enough moping! I am done with moping! I recently read Mennonite in a Little Black Dress and highly recommend it. I think any woman can relate to it, even if you do not have a history with Mennonites. I loved her relationship with her sister! And her mid-life rethinking about her life. What woman cannot relate to that? Okay, perhaps some of you are still a bit young to be thinking that way, but trust me. It will come. So read and enjoy! She even includes a few recipes of dishes she has mentioned in the book (the recipes are in the "additional resources" part so make sure you get that edition). I have to try her hot potato salad and see how it compares with my grandma's recipe!

In closing, I will try to do better. Though I might have to switch to Wednesdays for a while...

I have missed the Fourmiddables and promise not to stray so long next time...

And We're Walking

When I was in the UK for the first time I did this thing my friends loved. I played tour guide. "And we're walking..we're walking and we're stopping". And I find myself doing that now only there's a difference....instead of stopping to point out some great historical point of interest. Instead I'm stopping to pee...well I'm not peeing, but the two dogs I'm walking with are. I always say to them, to no avail, this is a walk not a pee. But they never understand. They don't listen they just want to pee pee pee.

I like to walk. I like to put on my MP3 player and just tune out the world. But I like to walk my dog. I just don't like to stop so much for peeing.

Although maybe I should be worrying about stopping since I'm walking to get myself ready for a possible UK adventure. Please pray for my dad whose health depends on whether or not I get to go.

So we're walking, we're walking and we're walking.

Burning Books

Recently I have reading about the destruction of one thing that I can never understand the destruction of and this is libraries. It's not as if destroying libraries is a new concept. It has been around since libraries have been around, but my question is why?

I understand that some people destroyed libraries not to destroy them, but to take the knowledge of one civilization to another perhaps greater or at least greater in the fact that they conquered one culture they stole books from. So why? Why would people destroy libraries in modern day? And it has happened even as recently as the second Iraq War.

Is it a fear of knowledge? Is it a fear of culture? Or is it the fact that deep down we know that the culture center of a country lies in its libraries? Although Fox News has maligned libraries and think that they are out of date and no longer used there are those of us who know the truth. Libraries have evolved and still give us a place where we can be equal to others regardless of what we can afford on our own. We can use internet there as well as read books from all over the world and that teach us about different cultures and different times and different worlds.

Why would we destroy these hallowed halls? Why would we burn books especially since books don't burn well....lack of oxygen in between the pages. If you want to burn a book for real rip it page by page do not throw it in a pile and hope the entire thing will burn.

But we shouldn't want to burn books and we shouldn't want to destroy libraries. I guess it shows no matter how far we come or think we come; no matter how many technological advances we make we will always attack places of learning and equalization first.

Eat Love Pray or On Becoming Spiritual

So recently I have been reading Eat, Love, Pray....a book that I never thought I would read because I very rarely read popular fiction. Let's face it...if Oprah recommends it then I won't read it. But for some reason, well really because Julia Roberts makes the movie look so good and she's just so cute that I had to read it. I'm actually enjoying it although I think I prefer Italy to India or Indonesia, but that's me. I can't believe that Liz was in Italy and didn't really go to any museums. That's where I think I'd find myself, but this is not my journey. It's Liz's journey.

I have also been reading The Bible which is something that I've never read before. I have read books from The Bible, but only to study them. Now I am reading The Bible because I would like to to become more spiritual. Now I have been told there is a difference between spiritual and religious. I do not necessarily see this, but I tend to use religious in the older definition not the newer definition. The newer definition apparently means that you are all gungho about a certain religion like Catholicism or Presbyterianism. While being spiritual basically means you are CS Lewis. You are a Christian but you don't tout one religion over another.

I was raised Catholic, but recently there has been a priest who has made me rethink being Catholic and to be honest there's a guy who has made me rethink how I view religion. He is the reason I am reading The Bible. Although he is spiritual he is very open and understanding and accepting of other people's views. Something I have not experienced with people who are religious. I guess this is the difference between the two.

So here I go....at the ripe old age of 30 I am reading The Bible and discovering my spirituality. We shall see how it goes and how I feel after it. Maybe this is my journey to self discovery. Who knows? Maybe a woman doesn't need to check out for a year to actually find herself although it would be fun. But maybe a woman just needs to find peace and I hope to find that peace in The Bible.

Wherever you are is my home.

I've been busy the past few weeks in final preparation for my friend's wedding which was held Saturday last. I was a bridesmaid in it-the "extra woman", in fact. The groomsman that I was supposed to have walked down the aisle/generally paired with was unable to attend due to a health problem (very serious, really) so it was a good thing that I am in the midst of reading Marjorie Hillis's Live Alone and Like It: A Guide for the Extra Woman so I was slightly prepared for the feeling that I was somewhat in the way. Especially when the bridal party was supposed to share a dance with the bride and groom at the wedding and I had absolutely nobody to dance with. I was on the brink of tears, but then Jane Austen came to rescue me. No, not the Jane Austen here, but in the literary sense. I realized that at that moment, I was Harriet Smith in Emma. Except, I had no Mr. Knightley to rescue me. Such is life, right? Especially the life of the "extra woman". I saw my future, and I have to admit it was kind of bleak.

However, I do have a mini-break at the beach planned for this weekend. Things could be looking up!

Was Dorothy Parker Just a 20th Century Fordyce?

Recently I have been reading Fordyce's Sermons. Why? Because I made a joke about it on my Facebook page and thought "Hmmm...I should really read a bit since I only know it in the Pride and Prejudice sense." Not that I don't know it in the Biblical sense. Not that Fordyce would think that was funny. It is definitely not something that Fordyce would let a young lady know about it or heaven forbid! Joke about. But I am not a Fordyce woman so much so that I mocked Fordyce in P & P making Mr. Collins like it and read it to his cousins.

In his sermons Fordyce says "Men of the best sense have usually been averse to the thought of marrying a witty female." Well this is obviously a reason why Lizzie would never get married, but doesn't it ring a little similar to Dorothy Parker's gem "Men don't make passes at girl's who wear glasses." Back in her time women who wore glasses were normally considered the smart ones and not the pretty ones. Or shall we call them the witty ones. Now men seem to love the idea of women in glasses. It's that whole naughty librarian fantasy that men have where we women take off our glasses, shake out our hair and say in a sultry voice "Mr. S, do you know what the penalty for an over due book is?"

Fordyce was a man whose sermons did not live up to time. His ideas were outdated by the time I came around, but that doesn't mean they don't make for good reading today. I might have to see what else Ms. Parker might have cannibalized or in truth just made better and funnier. Not that I don't think Ms. Parker is amazing. Hey in my little hick town I think I might start my own Algonquin Round Table where I am Ms. Parker and I have a bunch of drunken followers.

Hey! Every girl can dream. Especially this girl who might not wear glasses but sure as hell is witty especially since she made an incite/insight double entendre today and there are only so many men who will be incited by passion with that!

Just when I thought my heart was finally numb.

It has been weeks! My deepest apologies. I somehow took off on vacation (in mind only) and forgot to post. I think I just need a regular Monday schedule of work, ballet, and post to keep me on track. Take away the ballet, and I feel like I have hours of time before I have to go to bed, except, I really don't. Though maybe part of it is because I feel that I have nothing grand nor great to say. Not that I ever did.

At the moment, I am trying out a new experiment. That is, living with a roommate. And I have to admit that it is going quite well. I have been living on my own for quite some time now (about seven years) so maybe it was time for a change. Though, it also might help to know that this is just for a couple of months and isn't anything permanent. I am enjoying having someone to talk to at night after I get home from work. Except for those days when you've had too much public interaction at work and all you want to do is come home to a good book and some hard cider. Had one of those last Friday. We were so busy and so understaffed that if someone had asked me for a kidney, I probably would have agreed to the request (as I was letting other little rules slide for the sake of "just getting the job done"). Not that I would have gone through with the kidney donation.

So, this is here just to know that I am alive. And still slightly thinking about you. Next week, I think we'll have a grand old discussion of Antigone here, as the roommate and I are currently dissecting it. She's a Greek and Roman teacher at a school and is getting ready for the upcoming school year.

A new more positive Jane Austen

So last week I was a life coach and the funny thing is, is although I am a great life coach for my friends, I'm sort of a crappy life coach for myself. I think that's probably how all of us feel. So starting yesterday I have decided that I'm going to be more positive. A good friend of mine told me I needed to be and I think he's right.

So I was feeling nervous about my second master's program, but the genius of it is that I might feel like I don't belong because I don't have a fine arts background, but technically I do. Not an established one at least not academically established, but I was a dancer for 14 years, I dabbled in theatre and I've taken the Richard Feynman approach to teaching myself about art history. I also discovered something on my own yesterday that I didn't read in a book. It was a theory that Rene Magritte was actually the father of Pop Art. Most people say it was Warhol or Lichenstein. I was actually right to a point. Magritte is thought of a the father of Pop Art, but he's not because he didn't want the title. So I feel very proud of my non-traditional art history background.

What have you discovered that made you feel smart?

Feynman, novels, and those crazy scientists...

As an apology for missing last week, I start with a gift for Jane!

Now on to the books!

One of the many types of books that I enjoy is books about my hometown. I like the non-fiction books out there, but I really enjoy fiction that takes place in Los Alamos. Admittedly, I have not found that much fiction taking place in Los Alamos, but what I have read I love. It does not even have to be all that good and I think I would still love it.

The first novel I read that took place in LA is Los Alamos by Joseph Kanon. It is a murder mystery taking place during the Manhattan Project. It has been quite a while since I read it but it was extremely well written. (I also enjoyed his The Good German, which was turned into a movie as well.)

The last novel I read about Los Alamos was actually more of a children's book. The Green Glass Sea, by Ellen Klages. It was a fantastic, though quick, read. The story of a young girl who moves to LA with her father, a chemist I believe, and how she adapts to life in LA and then life without her father when he dies (ooops, I guess that is a spoiler, isn't it?). It is really enjoyable and seemed fairly well researched. She has a sequel out called White Sands, Red Menace, in which Dewey Kerrigan moves to Alamogordo after the war ends with the family that takes her in.

So yesterday, when I saw a book entitled Lost Almost at a friends house, I just knew it was for me. It had to be about Los Alamos! (As only a true Los Alamosian would be able to judge just from the title!) It strays from the norm for LA fiction in that it does not take place during WWII. It takes place in 2000 during the throes of the Cerro Grande fire which ravaged the Jemez Mountains and left many in LA homeless. I have only read 5 pages, but plan on enjoying it immensely!

So, do you know of any other books taking place in Los Alamos? (I shall save the non-fiction ones for another day, another post) Or do you also enjoy books about your hometown? If so, what town and what books? I love book suggestions!

Happy reading all! ;-)

The Orphan Factor

Recently I was speaking with a friend who had been listening to a great deal of YA (young adult) books with his wife. I asked for the names and although he didn't remember any of them he said that they were all about dystopian societies and most of the teens were orphans. This begs the question why do some many children's novels have dead or absent parents?

I will admit this is a flaw in some of my books. One of my more well known novels, The Railway Children, has an absent father and a mother, who although around, isn't around much and actually becomes ill so she isn't much good as a mother during that time. And really the story wouldn't really have worked if the parents were constantly there and if we look back at the time period many children had absent parents. Parenting really wasn't the thing.

But why does that theme still prevail today? It makes me wonder. Do children perhaps want to either not have parents or not want parents who are always available? Growing up as a child I remember my father not always being available because he worked odd hours at a newspaper and I didn't get to see him much. Not really my ideal childhood. Especially since I am Daddy's Little Girl or at least I want to be and I have made conscious decisions in my life to be just like my dad. So I can't really say that I want an absent parent.

Is it because more things can happen in a plot line with absent parents or dead parents? The idea of getting sent off to a place where you aren't loved as much or the fact that you can plan world domination or at least domination of the fairy world much like Artemis Fowl. Is it the sense of wanting something that makes the character more believable?

It seems to me that this is a tired story line and yet stories keep coming out with the same theme and people love them. They eat them up and can't get enough.

Do you have a favorite orphan book? Do you think the plot is used too much? What is your favorite book that doesn't have a missing/absent/dead parent? To be honest I'm having a hard time coming up with one.

Jane Austen Life Coach

So lately I have had to play life coach to my friends. For some bizarre reason they don't think they are good enough for things that I think they are completely and amazingly good enough for....dare I say it....maybe even too good.

I often find myself in situations where I am boosting someone's ego and I normally do it because I feel that this person needs it and that they are worth the ego boost. There are some people who play that they need an ego boost when really they don't.

So why is it that we doubt ourselves so much? People are always saying that in order for people to believe in you you must believe in yourself. But few people really do and I know this from personal experience. Sometimes my alter ego needs a little boost herself and it's time she learned: she's good enough, she's smart enough, and dog-gone-it people like her.

So tell me what is your best quality? What do you think that you can offer people? I would have to say mine is my ability to make people laugh. I believe that Charlotte's gift and she may disagree is her faithfulness and her steadfastness. I believe Dorothy's gift is her generosity and kindness. E.'s gift must be her razor-sharp wit. And George's gift is her optimism and gentle nature.

Ball's in your court. Of course if you want to list my best quality this life coach is always up for a little ego boost.

George Sand

Exciting news! George Sand will be joining us as a regular contributor starting next Wednesday. Currently Ms. Sand is getting ready to defend her thesis and we here at the Fourmiddables wish her the best.

So tune in next week for our latest member.

Also I promise to post this week. E. and I apologize for slacking but we were preparing and being interviewed for new jobs. So please forgive the slack.

Happy Reading!

Librarians really are super heroes...

So, I am reading a book that my father gave me called Murder at the Library of Congress by Margaret Truman and I realized something... there are a lot of librarian heroines out there. Or books taking place in or about libraries. Charlaine Harris has a series about a librarian named Aurora Teagarden. I have read others that I thought of the other day, but now as I right I cannot recall them. :-(

There are even novels about archivists! The Archivist by Martha Cooley and The Archivist's Story by Travis Holland. They have recently been added to my Summer Reading List.

And of course the Noah Wile Librarian movies! And who wouldn't want THAT job?! [Admittedly, not books, but who's counting!] ;-)

I am interested in reading more fiction about librarians or libraries. Any suggestions?

It won't be long now... any day.

I have a whole new stack of shiny books. New ones! All mine! Bwhahahaha!!!!!! In other words, my carefully plotted out attack on the exhibit hall at ALA was a complete success. I acquired the vast majority of the books that were on my want list, and even found some others-like one written by a neighbor of mine in upstate NY. I had no idea.

The top moment, however, was when I went to get Mitali Perkin's newest book autographed by her, and she remembered me from three years ago when ALA was last in DC. She complimented me on my fine attempt at bhangra dancing.

And today, I begged my co-worker to pick me up a copy of Ally Carter's newest Gallagher Girl novel, Only the Good Spy Young so I won't have to wait until after August to read it. (I had to work today, that's why I couldn't pick it up myself.) Now I feel very much like another co-worker who wanted nothing more than to take off and read Sizzling Sixteen. Maybe I will just do that!

Random scribbles.

I think I might have mentioned my participation in the 48 hour book reading challenge here, but I don't remember if I told you what my winnings were. It was a 50 book multicultural library collection to donate to an elementary school's library of my choice thanks to Reading is Fundamental. Pretty sweet, right? All those books and I don't have to put them on my own shelves. I call that a win-win situation. I donated them to my old elementary school's library. I think that was the best choice because they didn't seem to own most of the books. I'm glad that through my own stupidity and will power I was able to help so many. Or so I will think til the end of my days.

I was recently approached with the offer to move into a house with four other girls. I have thought long and hard about whether the move would be good for me. Certainly, it has financial benefits, but, I've been on my own for seven years now, and it really seems silly to move back into living with other people when I don't have to. And, just a little bit ago, I saw a friend's name on my email contact list and I just remember her saying how lovely it was to finally have a place of one's own, however small or humble it is, and I knew that there was no way that I could move. Not unless it was absolutely necessary.

I am getting ready for ALA this weekend. I'm not sure how many of you are able to attend. I'm only able to attend the exhibits portion of the conference, but, that's where are the best bits are. I'm so excited that I'm going to be able to meet one of my favorite YA authors, Jessica Day George. Or at least the attempt will be made. She is autographing books there on Sunday morning. Needless to say, I am doing weight training in order to be able to lift all the books I want to make off with. I've made a list. And it includes the exhibitors booth numbers in addition to the books that I am most longing to find at ALA as ARCs. A girl can dream, right? Except "dreams are meant to be crushed, it's nature's way." Hopefully, I will have excellent news to bring you next week.

But first, I have to get through two book discussions this week. The first, tomorrow, is on The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society followed by The Hunger Games on Wednesday. I'm currently re-reading The Hunger Games and ought to get back to that immediately!

Are We Meant for One?

Lately I've been reading some articles that show that mankind is not meant to be with only one person. That monogamous relationships are simply against our DNA. Now my Victorian counterpart completely agreed with this concept. She actually lived with her husband and his mistress and raised their children as her own.

I however do not think I could do this. I like the idea of one man one love one heart and whatever whatever U2 had to say. But it is an interesting question. I know a couple who have been together since they were 13 and they are now 30. Being together for 17 years by the time your thirty seems like a major commitment and let's face it, it's a longer commitment that I've put forth. My longest relationship is five years, but as I look back on it, it wasn't much of a relationship. I tend to go for long distance in relationships because the reality is, I don't want to have to change too much of my day to day life to make room for someone else.

And maybe that's the kicker with why mankind isn't the best at keeping a relationship with one person. We're too selfish. Living and loving someone else for the long term takes quite a bit and it requires lots of compromise and letting the other person win and that means you have to be the loser. Maybe we aren't conditioned for that. I don't think I'm conditioned for that....at least not right now. And when you think of adding kids into the equation it just becomes more convoluted.

So are we really meant for one person? Is there really one person out there who will complete us? Who when they win between the two of us it doesn't feel like a loss of us, but a win for our team? It's a tough call. Maybe I'm bitter and jaded which is completely possible. My last relationship couldn't remain faithful and now I look at all men as the enemy because I don't think they can be faithful either.

But I hope I'm wrong. Secretly I hope I do find the one...the one who I want to change my life for and hopefully he'll feel the same way about me.

Will it ever happen? Who knows. From experience I don't think men like bitter women. Maybe I need a change of pace. Maybe I need a change of scenery. But I do hope the one is out there even though everything tells me that the one will never be faithful.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, it's true. I, Jane Austen, have World Cup fever much like the rest of the world. The only difference? I actually care about soccer every year and not just every four years.

I will openly admit to getting a little cranky over people who are all "USA USA USA" when they don't support the team any other time. Drives me a little bonkers. Either you support them all the time or you just let it go. Don't constantly update your facebook status to show how happy you are that they got a goal....it was a lousy goal. It really was. Probably the easiest goal ever scored in World Cup history.

Secretly or not so secretly I'm a fan of the Dutch and I believe this is their year to win a World Cup. I'm not the only one who thinks this. The Danes believe in the Dutch so much they scored a goal for them when the two teams met. Now that's commitment.

So far we've seen some interesting things in the Cup. Like the South African goalie getting sent off by red card. It's only the second time that has ever happened. The first time being Italy and years ago. I don't really know if it was that dangerous. Perhaps he just deserved a yellow. But that's all part of the game....the ref really sets the tune and no it isn't to one of those annoying vuvuzellas or however they're spelled. (Spell check thought I was trying to type umbrellas...ha!)

So are you watching the World Cup? It is the Dutch's year? Or do you see someone else winning? What was the most exciting bit for you so far?

Comfort books and gift cards

Whenever I am feeling unsettled and out-of-control, I always turn to my books. And the best of those comforting books are books about books. One of my favorites is The Professor and the Madman by Simon Winchester. The fantastic story of the humble beginnings of the Oxford English Dictionary. What more can you ask for... a book about a book that happens to be a dictionary... and not just a dictionary... the best dictionary in the history of dictionaries. If I had the money to collect something I would start searching out history's best dictionaries. Some of the first would be prized possessions. Maybe I will start anyway, by the time I find something good maybe I will have the money to buy it!

The one I just finished is part of a series by John Dunning called The Sign of the Book. The protagonist, Cliff Janeway, is an ex-cop turned book dealer. This one was good, but not quite as good as the first one I read, The Bookman's Promise. Definitely a series worth a read, though.

What books about books do you enjoy reading? Have a favorite? I am always looking for something new to read!

On that note, I have to admit something that I am almost ashamed of. I have a Barnes and Noble gift card that was given to me in March. Yes, that is right, March. I just have not been able to decide what to get with it. Do not get me wrong, I am never short of books I want. I have a long wish list at Amazon. I just have not been able to decide on what to get now. And now, I have half of another B&N gift card. (Yes, I said half. Sort of a long story, but the short of it is that my colleague/office mate/friend and I won it at Science Boot Camp for being the newest to science librarianship. We both started on 2 November 2009.) So, what do I purchase? I am open to suggestions! Once I start searching I find too many books for my gift card!

So, why am I resorting to my standard comfort books, you might ask? June is disappearing and I have LOTS of work to do by July. My car is acting up and I am hoping it is not fatal. I desperately want to email a couple of professors about doing a PhD with them, but have not figured out how to say it. It is easier to hide in a book than to sit down and WRITE AN EMAIL! Maybe since my car is acting up and I cannot go to Pagosa Springs like I had planned I will get the gumption and just write!

Encouragement is welcomed and appreciated!

Maybe I'll send a fax today.

I can't believe I missed last week! Actually, I pretty much missed an entire week online last week because my parents were visiting and they commandeered my internet for their own use. I guess they were storing up for the summer because where they are going, there is no internet. Dreadful thoughts, right? Actually, I kind of enjoyed my break. And the two days before they came, I was sucked into reading for 48 hour straight. No sleeping. No showers. Nothing. Just me and sixteen books. It was quite refreshing getting through a good portion of my "To Be Read" pile.

Did I mention that I won? Or at least, I tied for first place. For the second year in a row. Not to bad, eh?

I also had my dance recital this weekend. In some ways I am sad to see the end of it, but, it is nice to get my summer evenings back to myself. And, I will see most everyone I know from class again next year. Besides, there is always Facebook.

This weekend my friend visited me and I forced her (and myself) to watch a video of a French musical. We like to call them BFMs, or "Big French Musicals". These are the huge shows that play in very large theatres in France, like the Palais des Congrès de Paris. The show we watched was called "Cindy Cendrillon 2002 and it was one hot mess. Cindy (our heroine) lives with her evil stepmother (a former disco queen), and two step-sisters (one who wants to break free from the wall of man-flesh that surrounds her). Her father (a pilot) died in a crash and she never knew her mother (she was a one-night stand in Cuba). And then there is Ricky, a singer who likes to dance the jig, his sometimes girlfriend Judy (a model), and his agent. Throw in a fairy godfather/dressmaker and you have the show. Well, you have mix in a generous dash of WTF. Because Cindy knows how to dance the jig just how Ricky likes. But Cindy wants Ricky to take her to the stars like her father promised her. Basically, nobody knows what they really want.

Ok, there are so many plot lines in this show it isn't even funny. Well, bits of it are. Thank goodness this video had subtitles so we could enjoy Judy's song after her break-up with Ricky (and just before her death) all about how she is going to fax a single word to Ricky. That word? "Bastard". Or, as the song is aptly entitled "Salaud".



I have a terrible temptation now just to go fax the word "Bastard" to someone. Just because.

So, now you know a guilty pleasure of mine. BFMs. Should I be embarrassed? It can't be any worse than liking Zorro: The Musical. Heck, I even have a fish named Zorro in honor of that show!

Emotinal Scar Tissue

Life is full of scars and scar tissue. The only kicked is unlike most physical injuries emotional scar tissue can't really be seen by the human eye. So what do we do about emotional baggage? About those scars that no one can see, but what make us who we are today?

I will openly admit to having quite a bit of emotional scar tissue. It's hard for someone to not have it. It's even harder for people to open up and admit why they have that emotional scar tissue.

One thing that I love about Liza Palmer's books is that her heroines are flawed. They each have some major emotional scar tissue each for her own reasons and it's that scar tissue that makes them more human. How many books can a person read about a woman who is thin with perfect hair and a fun job, but with not enough money to buy designer shoes and no one on the boyfriend front?

That's why I'm a fan of smart chick lit, but not a fan of the term chick lit. It's sort of like the term romance. You say something is a romance and instantly people think it's bodice ripping trash, but it's not. I've read some romance novels where no sex took place. And I must admit that reading historical romance really makes your vocabulary grow. Don't believe me? Try it and you'll be running to your dictionary to look up words. I remember once trying to explain to my boss, an older man near retirement age who worked at an academic library, what chick lit actually was. I said that it was a genre of books that were for women about women dealing with women's issues. His response was "Oh, so soft core porn."

No, it's way more than that although sometimes I guess that could be true.

But I like my heroines to be a little damaged like I'm a little damaged. I like to see a little emotional scar tissue because it's real and want it or not we all have it. So Liza Palmer is one of my favorite authors because of that. Monica McInerney does a really good job of damaged heroines as well.

Who are some of your favorite damaged heroines? Favorite authors who write smart chick lit?

Go east young woman...

I spent the day making my way east to Massachusetts. Two delays, a brisk job through Baltimore's airport, sitting between two women with gallons of perfume on, and a woman who thought it was a good idea to polish her nails on an airplane (can we say confined space with recycled air?)... we made it!

Why the trip to MA, you ask? Science Boot Camp for Librarians! I am really excited. Should be a lot of fun, and I want to share it with friends who will appreciate it! I told a teacher friend about coming and she was not impressed or interested. Which is fine. Not everybody loves what I do as much as I do and I understand that. Hopefully, I will try to post updates as the next few days go by so you all can share in the fun world of eScience! And it will make up for the short post today.

Better hit the hay! A two hour time change sure makes a difference...

So Late From Friday

So it's so past my date, but I'm joining with Charlotte, who I'm sure won't mind:
This is something I wrote when I was nineteen. I wish I was still this smart and brave:
Things

There comes a time in every life when we realize what is important and what is trivial
We learn that some truths are lies and no one can go it all alone
It seems to be that when you have no idea where you are going, you always end up in the exact right spot
It helps to turn to others for a helping hand
When you realize that these are the things you need: life, love, happiness, a sense of being, knowing who you are, and being comfortable with yourself
That’s life at its fullest
There are so many ways one can accomplish these things and yet they cannot be written down –
For if they are then the secret to happiness will be forever lost
Think back to a favorite moment from your childhood…
Do you see yourself standing there with a laughing smile on your face and large inquiring innocent eyes staring back at you?
What happened to that smile? That laugh? That innocence?
Regardless of what you may think, they’re still with you –
You only need to release them
And yet that feeling of insecurity that only grows larger with age and so called wisdom keep pushing you farther into confusion
There is a time in your life when you must do what you know to be the best choice for you…
There is a time in your life when you will make the wrong decision, but things will still work out for the best…
There is a time in your life when you will get hurt badly and yet you’ll grow from the experience and the pain…
There is a time in your life when nothing seems to go your way, but you’ll be happy anyway…
There is a time in your life when happiness will never leave your side and you’ll know the joy of being alive…
There is a time in your life when death will take over, but you will accept it with the grace and beauty of a woman…
There is a time in your life when you will just want to be held and those strong arms that have always been there for you, will be there once again…
There is a time in your life when you’ll sound just like your mother and you’ll laugh as you finally realize how she felt…
There is a time in your life when you’ll lose your way, but God will be there to help you…
There is a time in your life when confusion will take over, but you’ll gain control before anything bad happens…
There is a time in your life when you must accept defeat and you will do so like and with the sophistication of an adult not the insecurity of a child…
There is a time in your life when you will feel like you’re losing yourself, but your friends will be there to help you…
There is a time in your life for everything
All we can do is hold our heads high and wait for what destiny has in store for us –
We should not wish to become adults or try desperately to regain our childhood…
We must accept the life we were given and simply be thankful for it;
We must respect not only ourselves, but others and learn from mistakes we make and remember to laugh in the face of depression…
We are all beautiful creatures, but we must remember our own fragility…
Friends are the key to making it through life –
Treasure every moment and take the words “what if I had…” out of your vocabulary
For they are not important
They only hold you back from experiencing today –
Live then with the knowledge that you make your own happiness for our lives are our own; we only need to shape them as we want to live and decorate ourselves in ways we want to be remembered –
For in this play we sometimes call life there are no bit or small parts and everyone gets their name mentioned at one time or another.

Do you have a favorite poem? I normally don't admit to writing this one.

Thoughts on Kindness

I have been reading an amazing Carla Kelly book called "The Surgeon's Lady" and I can't help but want a Philemon Brittle (the hero) for myself. He brings something to the table that I and Laura Taunton (the heroine)lack in our lives and that is kindness.

It has been a long time since someone has told me "You look nice today." Or asked me if I was okay. It has been a long time since I have actually been noticed. I come to work and do what I'm supposed to do and that's the kicker of my job. If I do my job well then you really don't know that I'm there.

I feel like I'm disappearing that people can't see me anymore. It's a hard feeling to live with. I'm just fading away into the background. And really that means that I'm great at my job, but it's not so great for life is it?

It would be nice to receive e-mails or phone calls for no other purpose than to say "hey I thought of you today and wanted to talk to you."

I wonder if the problem is that we are so logged in. We communicate by e-mail and by text messages and Facebook statuses. We no longer value human contact. It's something that I am beginning to miss. I wish we would start to value human contact more. It makes us more human.

Philemon Brittle, who is a surgeon, gets that you can't just heal the body that you have to heal the mind and the spirit too. I think that these days we forget about the mind and the spirit. I would kill for someone to have intelligent conversations with. I really want someone to agree with me that Noah Charney is an idiot and that just by saying art theft is bad because it feeds organized crime is not good enough academic discourse. It's like saying "something evil makes people destroy culture." Well you're right it does, but does that really answer the burning question of why? But I have no one to talk to this about.

It's all about kindness and I think this world is lacking it. So if there is anyone out there that is missing the kindness of everyday human contact I have this to say to you:

"Wow! You look really nice today. Is that a new top?"
and
"How are you doing? Do you need to talk? Because I'm here and I'll listen."

After the Memorial

I hope everybody had a wonderful Memorial Day and spent time thinking about their favorite soldiers – past, present, and future. I know Charlotte did! :-) A salute to my cousin serving in Afghanistan. Looking forward to seeing you home safe.

So, what happens after Memorial Day? Today is 1 June 2010. In order to take my mind off other woes, I decided to see if anything interesting happened on this day. This is what I found...

193 – Roman Emperor Didius Julianus assasinated

1533 – Ann Boleyn crowned Queen of England

1779 – General Benedict Arnold court-martialed for malfeasance

1812 – President James Madison asks Congress to declare war on the UK - thus beginning the War of 1812

1831 – James Clark Ross discovers the North Magnetic Pole

1857 – Baudelaire's Fleurs du mal published

1869 – Thomas Edison patents his electric voting machine (and look how good that turned out for us!)

1890 – Census Bureau starts using Herman Hollerith's tabulating machine to count census returns (think they are still using it this year?!)

1910 – Robert Falcon Scott's South Pole expedition leaves England

1935 – First driving tests introduced in the UK

And last but not least...

1974 – The Heimlich Maneuver is published in the journal Emergency Medicine

So I cannot decide if I should feel proud or old that I am just a couple of months older than the Heimlich! It always amazes me when I think about just how recently some of our simple modern ideas about emergency medicine are. We have come so far so quickly in some ways. The modern ambulance started out as the funeral home using the hearse to carry patients to the hospital when necessary – no care or treatment given. Now look how much paramedics can do to help save lives in emergencies. Unfortunately, it is yet another profession, like that of teachers and (dare I say it?) librarians, where the pay does not reflect the ability, the effort, the care...

So what was your favorite event of 1 June?

I learned some new things today. Did you?

So it is Memorial Day

And, I managed to go to a picnic this year! Yes, most years I sit home alone from work. Twiddling my thumbs. Ok, maybe not really that bad. But, rare are the occasions when I get out to celebrate with the public at large. So, that was nice.

Did you ever have crushes on historical figures? My love for TJ is still going strong (that's Thomas Jefferson to the uninitiated). But, how could it be unabated when he is a ginger boy? I love ginger boys. Even though I was a tiny bit disappointed when I was handling a lock of his hair at a museum I worked at and discovered it wasn't as red as I hoped. Granted, it was two hundred years old and the lights probably weren't the best for catching red highlights. It still amazes me, however, that I was able to touch his hair. What a man!

My first historical crush, however, happened to be on a sweet-looking Confederate soldier named Edwin Francis Jemison. Apparently, I'm not the only one (so that's good, right?). He also in looks reminded me of my first ever crush on a boy my age. (He was our French exchange student and was here and gone before I knew it.) I recently came face-to-face with Edwin while visiting the National Museum of American History in DC. There was his face plastered to the entrance of the "Americans at War" exhibit (or whatever it is really called). Sadly, however, there was no label to identify him once you got in the exhibit and came across another picture of him. He was just some random "Young Confederate soldier". At least I knew.

I will say that they make the best case for peace in that part of the exhibit where they talk about injuries to soldiers. The back wall of the display case is covered with pictures of wounded soldiers. It is quite horrifying and serves as a chilling reminder that not just the dead are the victims of war.

Argh, there's a poem I wish to find, but I seem to have misplaced the cd it is on. Ah, here it is. It is taken from a newspaper that a soldier sent home to his wife during WWII (he was stationed in Italy, she lived in Florida with their baby son).

Far out in the Mediterranean
Many miles from either shore
There's a bomber crew that's sleeping
Neath the mighty waters roar.
No mounds of clay are heaped up oer them
No poppies grow round their graves
But there's a mound for every soldier
In the vastness of the waves.

The rest is silence.

Museum Going

I love to go to museums and it's not always to be awe-inspired by art although I often am. I love to go to museums to learn things and to watch how people react to what they are seeing. There's the staring at a painting until your eyes pop out. There's the classic: step back, sigh and nod. There's the speed through. There's the slow motion crawl through. There's the "I'm here because my parents made me come." And then there's me: turn it into a game.

I always make museum going a game. Sometimes I'm annoying (I correct tour guides, but really if I know they are wrong and I'm just visiting they should know they are wrong because it's their job). Sometimes I'm disruptive. I play games like The Renaissance Baby Jesus Game where I make Renaissance Baby Jesus talk and say things like "Mother, I'm fagged. Fetch me a glass of wine." I do this because Renaissance Baby Jesus can do some many things a real baby can't do. Believe it or not I actually know quite a bit about Renaissance art because of this game. I even came to love people like Fra Angelico and Botticelli.

What do you do in museums?

What makes you chose to go to a museum?

What's your favorite museum?

Mine is the Frick, but I love the Whistlers and Vermeers and Gainsboroughs and I could go on, but I'll stop.

A Little Healthy Competition

I may not seem like it because I'm athletically challenged, but I am a HUGE competitor. I am constantly comparing my achievements to the achievements of others. Which let's face it, really isn't healthy.

I look at my friends and think "wow they've published a book already." I haven't done that. Then I remind myself I edited a book, but it's really not the same thing.

I think what I am learning is that you can't necessarily judge yourself by what other have accomplished. Some people accomplish things later in life. But more importantly I need to learn that not all accomplishments that society thinks are important are really important.

Granted to see your name in print is quite fetching and has a quality about it. But I would argue that there are more important things in life. To be honest for the longest time I have had one goal and I don't know if I accomplished it yet, but I'm thinking this summer I might.

When I was a sophomore in college my life sort of fell apart. Well my academic life. I no longer wanted to be an English major. I was in a Persuasion and Propaganda class, which was one of my favorite college classes, and I was crying my eyes out. I had just been taken down a notch by my favorite English professor and then went to my next class. My professor was AMAZING...at least the Propaganda one. She said "Next class we have a test. Here is the study guide. You can leave. Jane, will you please stay."

She asked me what was wrong. I told her about my English failures and she asked me what I wanted to do for a living. I said I wanted to plan the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. She got her college handbook and we looked through it to decide what I should major in to reach that goal. We decided on business communication and marketing...a double major.

I left feeling better and more optimistic. Then I had to go to my scary English professor and schedule new classes. I told her I'd changed my major and she said she wouldn't schedule me because I was no longer an English major. I was once again distraught. I had classes to sign up to take. I had a schedule to follow since I was studying abroad in two years. So I called up my Propaganda professor and said "I need an advisor" and I became her first advisee at the college.

For the rest of my time at school my Propaganda professor, let's call her DW, was probably the most influential person in my life. She guided me and helped me through college...I wasn't struggling academically, but I'm the type of person who needs a mentor. And to this day she is a good friend and sounding board.

And that's what I really want in life. I want to be someone's DW. And this summer I think I might have that chance, which let's face it, is pretty cool.

Should I or shouldn't I?

I need some friends who do not think education is a waste of time to convince me not to go back to school for another master's and a PhD. I would like to. I would REALLY like to. And my GRE is good for another two years. But I should probably work long enough to have some retirement funds, right? Or I could just go back to school and stay until I die?

I found a program that I am really interested in. I have sent an email to the "contact" person for questions... and heard nothing. Perhaps I should just give up... instead, I want to email the professor who I think might have coinciding interests. But I am terrified of sounding stupid! I do not feel like I am quite articulate enough to describe my interests. Or, what if he is interested and I end up in the program but am not smart enough to earn a PhD...

If you cannot tell, the one thing I have always wished I could change about myself is my lack of confidence. And that is the one thing I know without a doubt I would need in order to complete a PhD. So, what do you think? Any ideas? Suggestions? Warnings? Talk me out of it. Or into it, if that is the way you think I should go...

I love a brooding man.

Recently, I have somehow cast myself as Jane in my very own personal production of Jane Eyre. No, not the musical, not the book, just my life. However, I find myself fortunate that I don't have a St John popping up yet. To be told that I was made for marriage and not love? Does that really win men points. That said, that became the second worst proposal I've heard in my musical theatre going career. The new top worst proposal was where one character informed the other that they were going to be married, and to seal the deal, he was going to rape her, and oh yes, by the way, he was going to sleep around with other women after they marry and she was going to like it.

Looking at that, I would take St. John hands down!

But, here's a brooding Rochester for you. A bit of stick figure fan art I created years ago based on Jasper Fforde's The Eyre Affair. I really need to get cracking on my Les Miserables/Field of Dreams cross-over, don't I? "If you build it, they will come..."

Stuck in a Moment

Lately I have been stuck in a moment. I lost sight of what I should be doing and was instead following another path.

But I finally shook out of that moment. I got myself unstuck so to speak although it did require some tears on my part. It's amazing how quickly we can lose sight of what really matters.

What about you? Have you been stuck in a moment?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykIj190mJek

Wicked women of the theatre.

Well, it has to be Monday somewhere. Just blew in from a free theatre event at the Shakespeare Theatre in DC. I love their free readings! They usually get some fun talent in and put on little produced plays. Which makes sense considering it is called their "Rediscovery Series". Today's selection was based on a true crime and was the first "domestic tragedy" of it's time. It's authorship is unknown (though rumors about about it being by Shakespeare, Marlowe, or Kyd). It is Arden of Faversham or The Lamentable and True Tragedie of M. Arden of Feversham in Kent. Who was most wickedly murdered by the meanes of his disloyall and wanton wyfe, who for the love she bare to one Mosbie, hyred two desperat ruffins Blackwill and Shakbag, to kill him.... I love how in those old stories, you could get the whole synopsis in the title.

However, this was not a straightforward killing. No, the "ruffins" were of the very bumbling sort and couldn't get the job done. The first attempt had an apprentice bookstore keeper slamming the stall door on Black Will's head, thus rendering him incapable of running through Arden with his sword. And it continued on. So much so that you would have thought they would have been smart enough to give up. But preserve they did, and it all led to everyone's deaths. Because of course they had to end up killing Arden right before a large dinner party at the Arden's house, but they killed him at the house and attempted to ditch the body behind the Abbey right when the snow storm ended so there was a clear path to their door. Idiots. So, the wife and her two servants were killed as traitors (the two females burned and the male servant hung, drawn, and quartered) while the lover and all the other conspirators were hung (except for Black Will who was burned as well). What a fun ending!

So, as you can see, two of my favorite things are books and theatre. So why not combine them? If ever I should be in Buenos Aires, I will have to look up the El Ateneo bookstore. It is housed inside an old theatre that was turned into a movie theatre which in 2000 was converted into a bookstore. How fabulous is that? And, you can eat on the stage because that is where they have the cafe!

Chasing Vermeer

I would love to chase Vermeer. In fact I have once when I was in the Louvre and the wing that had the Vermeers was locked. I shook the gate much to the chagrin of the guards. While I was in London at Victoria Station waiting for a train to Waterloo Station would which take me to Paris, I purchased Girl with a Pearl Earring. It was a good read, but I have found another book which I adore even more.

Blue Balliett is a children's author and she writes the most wonderful art adventure books ever. Her first Chasing Vermeer teaches children that it's okay to enjoy art and math and music and everything else. It's wonderful and I highly suggest that people read it young and old alike.

What children's book have you discovered recently that made you smile?

Superficial

Recently I sat in a work related meeting listening to two men talk about how they wouldn't eat cheese until they had made their goal weight. I could barely contain my rolling eyes. Why? Because I have had it up to HERE with the superficialness of the United States.

I watch TV and see commercials to make my hair a better color, my ass tighter (yes, Jane Austen just typed the word "ass"), to get rid of my unseemly stretchmarks, to make me thinner and who knows what else.

Why must we be so obsessed with changing ourselves? Why aren't we good enough? And if we get "good enough" is it really good enough for anyone?

I'm reading Mary Balogh's Slightly series and it makes me laugh that all her heroes and heroines have straight, even, white teeth. Why do I laugh? Because back in Regency times people didn't really care about straight, even, white teeth. That's something that we care about today.

I suppose I am mostly fired up about this for personal reasons. Reasons that I will now share with you and you can see a bit into the person who makes up Jane Austen. I have had a string of boyfriends, most of who I thought were good men and I was fooled, that have not been pleased with how I look. I have been told that I was too fat even when I weighed 123 pounds and stood at 5 foot 9 inches. I have been told that I didn't dress conservatively enough. That I had too much of an opinion for a Republican politician's girlfriend. That I dress too conservatively and couldn't I show off my features more even though I was fat at the time. Apparently everything about me is just wrong. Except for perhaps my eyes, which are quite remarkable. I remember one ex-boyfriend after having seen me after some time remarked "You still have amazing eyes". Well duh. My eyes don't change. They are the only pair I have. Then he proceeded to send me an e-mail saying (since I'm not exactly the thinnest woman in the world now....I am plus-sized) that he hoped one day my outerbody could be as beautiful as my innerbody.

Dear Lord! Help me now. I may not be thin and I don't care. I am sick and tired of being judged on my appearance. I am tired of people looking at me and saying I don't do this and I don't have this and my whatever just isn't enough. Because honestly I'm witty; I'm smart (I have a master's degree and am working on a second one in a very selective program (they accept 12 people nationally a year and I am one of those 12)); I have great eyes and a $10,000 smile; I'm kind and caring and thoughtful; I make people laugh because I'm funny and punny. I have a lot of great things going for me, but no one can see that.

Why can't they see that? Because America is superficial and all we do day in and day out is tell people they aren't good enough.

Well I say screw it! I'm good enough just the way I am. And that's my final offer.

The gods are among us...

Lately I have been enjoying the resurgence of books featuring the Olympian gods. For those of us lapsed Classicists, this is a joyous trend. I enjoyed the first couple of books in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, but then after seeing the movie (horrifying for anybody who actually READ the book), I could not make myself read Book 3. I will get back to it soon. It is refreshing to see the Greek gods making an appearance in Youth books. I have some young friends (9 & 11) who are very enthusiastic about the ancient greek world. It is nice to have some literature to share with them. Even if Riordan took a lot of artistic license when writing them. It is nice to see young people who are able to pick out the inconsistencies and are annoyed by them! And I have someone to share my love of the ancient world with.

I was in our local book shop (a wonderful place!) last week and found an interesting book. It is called The Infinities by John Banville. I have not read anything of his before and am really looking forward to it. I have only just started it, but it is the story of a dying old man, his wife, and children as they experience the deathbed. It is told by Hermes, the narrator, and includes Zeus– doing as Zeus does with mortal women– and Pan, disguised as an "old, unwelcome acquaintance." It brings to mind one of my favorite authors, Homer. It is the story of mortals. And, of course, the immortal interlopers who cannot seem to refrain from meddling in the lives of mortals. Since I have only made it to page 14, I am as yet unable to judge the book. So far, the writing is good and entertaining. It is reminiscent of Homer's epic poems, complete with a glowing dawn in the first few pages of the book. I cannot wait to see what else it holds in store for me, for it seems to be the kind of story the greeks would have told about themselves and the gods among them.

Just as Jane reads adaptations of her books, I enjoy different translations and adaptations of Homer's stories. I love to see that after thousands of years people are still enthralled by the gods and the stories. I recently started, but have not finished, the Iliad and the Odyssey - a biography by Alberto Manguel, who I think writes absolutely beautifully. He tells the story of Homer through the millenia, how we mere mortals have changed and adapted the stories and the man to suit our time and place in the world.

I am very pleased that the ancient greeks are still alive and well in our little corner of the world. Perhaps it will motivate me to find some of the Homeric hymns in greek and do a bit of "light reading" this summer. Camping with Homer.....

Do you have a favorite author whom you enjoy reading in multiple translations or adaptations? I am curious what your biblio-obsessions are!

Brontesaurus!!!!!

Today I signed up for MotherReader's 48 hour book challenge. So excited about it, even if a friend of mine wants to take me out drinking in honor of barricade day that same weekend. I'm planning on barricading my door if that is the case, because I'm going to see if I can go two years in a row non-stop! Last year, I was a co-winner, staying up and reading for all 48 hours. It was a challenge, but think of the glory! We'll see.

I'm lacking in thoughts tonight, so you will just have to deal with this Youtube video. We've all seen the action figures of Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, and even Nancy Pearl. So why not the Bronte sisters?

Here's our turn!



I don't know, are the Bronte sisters better than Voltron that old 80s favorite toy of mine? Maybe they should have a fight to the death.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Recently there have been several articles about how I, Jane Austen, now rule the world. What a strange sort of time this has become when a daughter of a reverend can become one of the most powerful women in the publishing industry. And I do it all while dead...even more impressive.

Who would have thought that six novels would touch so many people? But what's really behind the JA love? It basically started with the BBC Pride & Prejudice mini-series where Colin Firth emerged from a lake and caused millions of female hearts to stop beating. Thus began the JA love. Now there are scores of books that take on my characters and even me. At times I'm just a side character and at other times I'm a vampire slayer.

The one thing that surprises me is how many people take on my characters in an act of love shall we say and then don't hold true to them. It's like Dorothy said: sometimes authors forget pieces. Like when one author has Lizzie saying she had known Charlotte Lucas a little. A little? They were good friends.

So how many people are actually taking on JA's characters because they love them and want to see what happens next. And how many people simply want to cash in on my fame?

It's a tough call. What are the worst and best works based on my novels that you've read?

For me: Best: Melissa Nathan's Persuading Annie
Worst: Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife by Elizabeth Berdoll

A fine line between love and hate... or entertaining and annoying?!

Last week a friend of mine started lending me a series of books I had not read. I had actually never had any desire to read them, as they are about vampires and I think vampires are just too trendy for my taste. I must read to the beat of a different drummer! So, the series is Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse books. The ones the HBO series Trueblood is (loosely) based on. I actually had a conversation at work today with somebody who watches the show but has not read the books. But that is another story for another day...

Back to the topic at hand. Probably, one is not supposed to read seven books in a series back to back in a week. For, as I found out, Ms. Harris is not such an expert on her own characters, plots, et cetera. Perhaps, most authors get the odd fact wrong now and then. And, perhaps, they are not noticeable when you read books as they come out once a year or so. But these errors are making me crazy! How hard is it to remember a husband's name is Ralph, not Micah? Or the name of the cult is the Fellowship of the Sun, not the Brotherhood of the Sun? Come on! Is that not what you get paid to do? Write books? If you do not want to keep up with a series, do not write them!

So, at what point is enough enough? Or too much? I want to just stop reading them. But would she know? Nope! I did not buy them, I borrowed them, so I cannot take them back for a refund. And now I have become vested in the characters! I want to know which guy she ends up with! The one I adore? Or the one who annoys me? When do I say, "I have had enough!"

Obviously not yet. I just cannot stop. I finished the seventh book last evening and just had to have the next one. I even tried looking online to see if the library had a digital copy I could checkout online. (It was out, I had to place a hold!) But, lo and behold, my wonderful friend brought me the next two at work today! So, there I was this afternoon bringing books INTO the library!

What do you think? Is it worth it to stop reading when authors annoy you? I admit, I am not an author and I bet I would not do a better job. But I would try, since it is such a pet peeve of mine. And authors are supposed to be perfect, are they not? That is what I always thought! I guess I would get a little peace of mind by not reading any more errors, but would that be worth the loss of enjoyment I get from them? I just do not know!

Back to the book!

When she danced...

Ah, ballet. I love you, and yet sometimes I hate you. We are in our final month of practice for our spring performance of The Nutcracker. Yes, The Nutcracker in the spring. That was an annual tradition around Christmastime at my old dance studio (back when I was young). Now that I'm twenty-nine and dancing with people half my age (seriously), I have to wonder when I should hang up my pointe shoes and retire. Ballet actually was something I started doing again just a couple of years ago, and this year I added pointe. Maybe it was a mistake, but, I always loved it back when I was younger.

But, we finished learning our Waltz of the Flowers dance and received our costumes for it today! My is purple, and would probably look good on a slender, undeveloped teenager. Not so good on me. But that's life, isn't it?

Way back when, I found a used copy of Noel Streatfeild's Dancing Shoes at a library's book sale. It became tradition to read it every summer. It was, in some odd way, my beach read. But, I stopped that tradition sometime when I was in college. I was babysitting my cousins down in New Jersey and I always ran out of time. Now I look at it and every time I have the urge to read it, I reflect that it is not the right season. Do you have any seasonal books?

That said, I was just watching the new Emma mini-series with some friends and now I'm lusting after a red/pinkish military style pelisse. I wish I could find someone to make it for me!

A Long and Windy Road

Recently I made a pretty huge decision: I'm going back to grad school for a second masters degree. I had felt that my past education choices were the wrong choices. I wished that someone had told me when I was a junior that I could run a museum and here was the education path I needed to do that. But I thought that normal people like me couldn't run museums. So I went to school and decided I'd plan the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade instead. Then when I graduated and realized I didn't want to do that I changed directions and went on to get a master's in library science. But secretly I still wanted to run a museum. I made some other choices and took some other roads and then I applied for the master of arts in arts administration at Goucher College. I was accepted and I knew that this was the way to go. I e-mailed a good friend of mine in the museum world (I had been considering studying under him at Florida State for a Ph. D.) and he said I made an excellent choice. That my combination of the MLIS and MAAA would be unstoppable and open me up for a variety of jobs in the cultural heritage organizations.

So it was a long and windy road and will last three more years since my master's is a three year master's degree, but it was a good road and I wouldn't change a thing.

What about you? Are there decisions you've made that you thought were not the right ones, but then turned out to be correct?

What's your dream job?

Braver Than I Thought

I have been nostalgic of late and Charlotte's post Monday got me thinking about a book that meant something to me and still does. I'm talking about Monica McInerney's Family Baggage. This was the second of Monica's wonderful books that I read and although I related quite well to the first one I related even more to this one. Harriett, the main character, has a nervous breakdown after her parents die suddenly. She begins to doubt herself. I have self-doubt all the time. But a semi-mother figure to Harriett tells her to write down a list of things she can do. So Harriett does and she quite impressed with it. She keeps the list with her and reads it when she needs to do so.

I compiled my own list and was quite surprised with my accomplishments. I moved across the ocean to Wales without knowing anyone else there and lived for six months. I navigated through Europe quite well although I learned flying by the seat of your pants sometimes gives you a big wedgie. I am planning an international breast cancer fundraiser. I can cook Greek food. I am an expert in Victorian children's literature by female authors. I have originally cataloged an art collection.

There's more, but those are the basics. I actually think this is a great exercise for anyone to do. Because let's face it at one time or another we all have doubts about ourselves and where we are going.

What about you? What are your accomplishments? What brave thing did you do?

Happy birthday to me.

"If it had not rained on a certain May morning Valancy Stirling's whole life would have been entirely different."
-The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery

Do you have a book that you swear influenced your life dramatically since you first read it? Or at least one that you can identify with the character? Mine was always L.M. Montgomery's The Blue Castle, which is really a fairy tale at it's heart. It is about a woman who at the start of the book is celebrating her twenty-ninth birthday. She is single, at the time where "the unmarried are simply those who have failed to get a man", and has always been rather shy and oppressed by her mother and her family. What was that? Shy and oppressed by her family? Ding! Ding! Ding! Of course this fed right into how I felt growing up.

But, she is told by a doctor whom she snuck out and visited on her birthday that she has a heart condition and only has a year to live. Valency realizes that she needs to escape her monochrome life and does it fantastically.

So, this is it. This is my twenty-ninth year, so it is my year to live big and tell people exactly what I think. Ok, maybe not exactly because sometimes a little tact goes a long way. Because, while I haven't been diagnosed with a heart condition that will leave me dead in a year's time, it might still be quite interesting to try to be bolder and more honest with everyone.

We'll give it a try.

Father of Our Country, Father of Our Book Theft Problem

I was never overly fond of George Washington. I don't know if it was the powdered wig, the wooden teeth or that whole cherry tree folklore. But I never found that the father of our country was really as great as everyone believed.

And now my belief has been proven. George Washington, who could not tell a lie, is now a known book thief.

Recently an article came out that said George Washington had not returned two books to a library in New York, which makes him a book thief. If you check out a book and never returned it the library world calls that legalized theft and although not a great deal has been done about it historically, it is a major problem and is costing our libraries millions.

Now I can't really hate George Washington for doing something that I too have done. I will say that a)I was eight and b)not only did I replace the book, I replaced it with two copies. So if some other enterprising eight-year-old could not be parted with The Voyages of Dr. Doolittle the library would not suffer. But I can and do actually hold this against The New York Society Library. Why? Because they have been quiet about it for so long.

This is the problem with library theft: NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT. If you ask librarians they will deny it exists. They look at it as a part of doing business. Although not a great deal of data has been collected on library book theft, the last known numbers for how much library book theft costs libraries a year was $2 billion. That's a lot of books or a lot of services that libraries provide. That number comes from a 1998 article. That's $2,619,891,819.88 according to an inflation calculator.....Wow is it just me or does that number look like a huge chunk of our library budgets?

Libraries need to not only talk about book theft, but they need to start doing something about it. I respect Terry LaTour from the Clarion University Libraries for the work he's done to prevent library book theft. When he came to Clarion it was a $30,000 a year problem and now it's not. Terry talks about book theft and he does something about it. As librarians we could learn from Terry and we should. Because people stealing books from libraries legally or illegally is a price libraries can't afford to ignore anymore.

Turn off the TV Week, or the joys of a small town

This is my weekly Tuesday post, coming on Wednesday as it is because last night my 'puter was misbehaving and I had to shut it down and walk away or it was going to get thrown against the brick wall. Next week, I promise a Tuesday, Tuesday post!

On to the joys of small town living! A local elementary school is celebrating Turn off the TV Week with nightly events in the school gym. Fun, exciting evenings of board games, races, dances... you get the picture I am sure - anything to get you away from the TV! Well, they kicked things off Monday with a book sale. You know me, never met a book I did not like and never could turn down an invitation to a book sale. Even one in the gym of an elementary school.

While it was nothing fancy, or big, I love just being able to look over the tables of books, pick them up, flip through them, read a page here - a paragraph there. And I walked away with a bag of books for $1.75. You will be pleased to learn that they were not all for me.

I love buying books for others, mostly it ends up being my friends and family. Especially when they are as crazy about books as I, such as my father. Or for children. I have some dear friends who are 3 years of age and almost 5 years of age. I have imparted my love of books most especially to the nearly 5 year old girl. She loves her library. And I am now adding some dictionaries to her collection! (please see previous post by self) They had a beautiful hard bound My Fun With Words book. Which is basically a first picture type dictionary with easy to comprehend definitions. I also found a Children's Dictionary which may be a bit above them now, but will definitely come in handy later. They even had books I remembered from my childhood like Amelia Bedelia! No holy grails were found here, but treasures none the less.

And, tell me, is there anything better than buying books for children? The sheer delight on their little faces as they turn the pages of a new book just cannot be surpassed. Unless, perhaps, it is by the delight on my face as the new treasure is shared with me!

We're all in search of Holy Grails.

Long ago (we are thinking about five years ago), I attended a book sale at the Boston Public Library with a friend who cited her interest in looking for her "holy grail" of books. I can't remember the title of the book, but I finally realized what I should call my ultimate book finds when I go used book shopping: Holy Grails.

And guess what? Just the other week I managed to find one! And a few crown jewels. I have to say that there must have been someone in the DC area who collects just what I do, and I managed to get there at the right time to find them. My interest in book collecting stems back to when I was perhaps in my early teens, if that, and I discovered a previously unknown book to me by Frances Hodgson Burnett called T. Tembaron at my local library's book sale. Up until that point, I had no idea that she had written anything other than A Little Princess, The Secret Garden, and Little Lord Fauntleroy, which are the ones you can typically find in print at bookstores. That started a lifetime of collecting the works of Burnett and other children's authors. Little by little, I am finding them all across the world (as I have found them in Wales and Scotland in addition to the United States). My main collecting focus is, oddly enough, Victorian children's literature, especially that with a moralistic bent, and books of facts.

So, I came full circle the other day when I stumbled across a first edition of the book, T. Tembaron, but this time with a dust cover. It might not be in the best shape, but it is all mine!

Then, in the "collectible children's literature" section, I came across a first edition of Elizabeth Marie Pope's The Perilous Gard, of which I actually own two softcover copies because I almost wore out the first so I thought it best to buy another when I saw it. I loved that book growing up. It's a retelling of the Tam Lin story, only set during the reign of Queen Mary (and into Queen Elizabeth). I only wish that Pope had written more than two novels. From what I read somewhere, she had a brilliant idea for a fourth book, but was stuck on the third, and then she died. Alas!

Finally, the Holy Grail (in minor) was a first edition of a Sally Watson book. It wasn't from the series that I am most fond of (her Scotland series), but this was the first time in all of my years of searching that I found one of her books in a used book sale of any type. So exciting!

To top it off, I found an 1833 copy of Cobb's Expositor, or Sequel to the Spelling-Book which has poetry written in the blank pages. Poetry! I love old books that has writing in it. It makes me happy.

What do you love to collect? Do you have any "holy grails" waiting to be found?