Superficial

Recently I sat in a work related meeting listening to two men talk about how they wouldn't eat cheese until they had made their goal weight. I could barely contain my rolling eyes. Why? Because I have had it up to HERE with the superficialness of the United States.

I watch TV and see commercials to make my hair a better color, my ass tighter (yes, Jane Austen just typed the word "ass"), to get rid of my unseemly stretchmarks, to make me thinner and who knows what else.

Why must we be so obsessed with changing ourselves? Why aren't we good enough? And if we get "good enough" is it really good enough for anyone?

I'm reading Mary Balogh's Slightly series and it makes me laugh that all her heroes and heroines have straight, even, white teeth. Why do I laugh? Because back in Regency times people didn't really care about straight, even, white teeth. That's something that we care about today.

I suppose I am mostly fired up about this for personal reasons. Reasons that I will now share with you and you can see a bit into the person who makes up Jane Austen. I have had a string of boyfriends, most of who I thought were good men and I was fooled, that have not been pleased with how I look. I have been told that I was too fat even when I weighed 123 pounds and stood at 5 foot 9 inches. I have been told that I didn't dress conservatively enough. That I had too much of an opinion for a Republican politician's girlfriend. That I dress too conservatively and couldn't I show off my features more even though I was fat at the time. Apparently everything about me is just wrong. Except for perhaps my eyes, which are quite remarkable. I remember one ex-boyfriend after having seen me after some time remarked "You still have amazing eyes". Well duh. My eyes don't change. They are the only pair I have. Then he proceeded to send me an e-mail saying (since I'm not exactly the thinnest woman in the world now....I am plus-sized) that he hoped one day my outerbody could be as beautiful as my innerbody.

Dear Lord! Help me now. I may not be thin and I don't care. I am sick and tired of being judged on my appearance. I am tired of people looking at me and saying I don't do this and I don't have this and my whatever just isn't enough. Because honestly I'm witty; I'm smart (I have a master's degree and am working on a second one in a very selective program (they accept 12 people nationally a year and I am one of those 12)); I have great eyes and a $10,000 smile; I'm kind and caring and thoughtful; I make people laugh because I'm funny and punny. I have a lot of great things going for me, but no one can see that.

Why can't they see that? Because America is superficial and all we do day in and day out is tell people they aren't good enough.

Well I say screw it! I'm good enough just the way I am. And that's my final offer.