Writing to you from some battle

All that endurance I built up last spring for our recital? Gone. Totally gone. My legs are feeling quite like spaghetti and I probably look like an old lady as I walk around the apartment. At least I know that means I'm working cause if I wasn't feeling a thing, I wouldn't be getting my money's worth.

And speaking of feelings, I had the great opportunity to catch all three parts of The Great Game: Afghanistan this weekend at Shakespeare Theatre (put on by Tricycle Theatre out of London, UK-here's their blog about the US tour of the show). The Great Game features twelve one act plays with some verbatim political speeches and monologues/dialogues scattered throughout that focus on the western influence in Afghanistan. The first play is set in 1840s with the British forces occupying Afghanistan to the present day by the end of the cycle.

Most of the plays moved me in various ways, and I felt much more educated on the history of western involvement with Afghanistan. (And I have learned new horrible ways in which people kill others and I'm not sharing because there are somethings you don't want engraved on your brain for the rest of your life.) Which probably isn't saying all that much because we really aren't taught all that much about that part of the world in school, or at least if we did, I don't remember a thing of it and history was a favorite subject of mine. I have ordered a copy of the script and I really wish I could use it for a book discussion. I think that would be fabulous.

It really is worth you time and money to see this production if you can. By the time I saw the last play, I wanted to wholeheartedly adopt the entire cast and keep them over here in the US I just grew to love them that much over the course of the day. As my friend pointed out, it was like seeing an entire season of theatre in one day.

Then on my way home on the metro, I pulled out my ARC of Sugar and Ice by Kate Messner because I felt I needed something light. She is an author from my home town, and while I have not read her earlier book, I am sure that this one won't fail to delight me. As it is, I was drawn to feeling like I was back home because the names she uses are all so familiar. I lived next to a Ladue family and knew a Rabideau family. All so familiar. But what I found truly hilarious (and so exciting that I finally *got* and inside joke by an author) was when I read this description of a man:

"'Who's that guy?' He pointed to a skiny man with blond hair and glasses, sitting two tables over and smiling like crazy."

That man is her husband, Tom Messner, the weatherman at our local tv channel. My own grandmother fondly nicknamed him "Guy Smiley" because he always has the brightest smile on, even when predicting the worst blizzards possible. So I'm already laughing like crazy at this book and I'm only on page 20. I can't wait to see what other memories it holds for me!

Unrequited love: it can end when you choose.

Ballet has begin in earnest. As has the school year. This should hopefully get me back on track. ::fingers crossed:: Though did you really miss the crazy ramblings of Charlotte Bronte at all? Or, instead of being, in the words of Nat King Cole "Unforgettable", I am rather more "So forgettable". Perhaps I prefer it that way!

I most recently attended All's Well That Ends Well at Shakespeare Theatre in DC. It was one of the Bard's lesser done works as it is properly entitled a "problem play". Is it a comedy? Is it a tragedy? Well, there is a little bit of history since there is the King of France and an Italian war. This production, however, is set during World War I, so you must suspend your disbelief a bit, and believe that there is still a King of France. And he does play a pivotal role in the plot of this play. For you see, Helena (played by the wonderful Miriam Silverman), the daughter of a doctor, is in love with Bertram, a count, and also the son of her father's patron. Except her father is now dead as is his. Bertram does not love her. Not at all. She observes him from afar.

That is, until one day after he goes to the King's court, she follows to bring medicine, and a proposition, to the King. If she saves his life, he will allow her to marry any of the men at his court. He lives, and guess which man she selects? Bertram. He of course instantly objects and Helena realizes her folly only too late. But, the King will not relent. He promised her a man and she is going to get a man whether they like it or not. They marry, but Bertram leaves for the war that night, leaving her a message that she will never be his real wife until she has his ring on her finger and his baby inside her. And, oh, by the way, I will never return to France until you are dead.

Of course, come the second act, she follows him to Italy and through use of great trickery manages to accomplish his "impossible" demands. But, the real question is, at the end are they happy? Sure, they end up together (and this after Bertram attempts to woo an Italian girl and then later, thinking that Helena has died, returns to France to marry yet another girl), but is that the stuff marriages are made of?

It brings up the question of unrequited love. That perhaps it is better to stay unrequited and never speak of it. That way, you are only hurting yourself and are sparing the person you like. But, if one doesn't speak up, how then does anyone ever get together these day? What do you think? Is it better to keep it in or take the risk and let it all out?

Taking advantage of technology... finally!!

About six months ago I broke down and bought a Sony Reader. I might have mentioned it here. So far I have used it for a couple of PDFs, some eBooks from a vendor we use at work, and eBooks I have checked out of the public library. I really had not purchased any books for it or even downloaded books from Project Gutenberg. Until now.

Last week-end, I decided that I was not taking full advantage of my Reader. So, I am taking steps to correct this. I know that I will never give up all "real" books. But the Reader can be very useful for certain books. I have downloaded quite a few books from Project Gutenberg which I like to always have on hand. Including Shakespeare and Jane Austen! I have also started purchasing some books which I would ordinarily purchase in paperback if I happened to run across them. I have purchased a couple of Kay Hooper books which I have been wanting to re-read. Quick, yet entertaining! Unfortunately it is all too easy to make these purchases very quickly!

I am also going to start putting some of the PDF reports that I need should be reading for work on it. I even filled out the paperwork and got the signature/approval required to be able to bring it to work to read there! Yippee!

I must really be moving into the digital world. Which is good, since I am supposed to be working on a new digital curation kind of project!

Well, tomorrow after work I am heading straight to the airport to go visit my sister in Houston. Blech! Not looking forward to Houston, but excited to see my sister! And I will be taking my handy dandy Reader along for the ride! It will be great for traveling as I will only have to carry it instead of the 5 or so books I usually travel with. Just in case... you know? Since you never know what kind of book you might feel like reading while traveling!

Any suggestions for eBooks? I find that the non-fiction books I have been looking for (admittedly, a very new one and a very old one) have been hard to locate. As usual, I am open to suggestion!

Unpretty

So I'm sure I've mentioned this before or I did on my previous blog....I once had a serious boyfriend who wasn't so friendly. He constantly told me that I was fat and that I needed to do this and that to improve myself. Not really an encouraging guy, but I did stay with him for five years.

Lately I've been driving my parents' car and the V6 engine is making me fall in love and so is their Sirius radio. I've been rocking out to the 90s on 9 and I heard a song the other day that made me think:

Unpretty by TLC

I wish could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today (yeah)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'

[Chorus:]
You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too

Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm bein' stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me (hey)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'

And this is really how I felt. Before I had met him I thought I was pretty and that I was thin....but he got to me. He made me doubt myself and that's the key to this song.

At the end of the day I have myself to blame.

And that's the truth. I was the one who let him get to me. I was the one who let him make me think he was right and I needed to change. At the end of the day while I can hate him for everything it's really my own fault.

Eleanor Roosevelt said that no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. Well I gave him permission to make me feel inferior, but in the end it works out.

Why? Because now I know to not let this happen again. I know when to say "Hey. I am pretty. Go to hell."

So that's how I feel. And that's my lesson learned after five very long very hard years.

Look ma... two weeks in a row!

So, I was reading Library Journal at work today. We are supposed to read them; they get passed around. So, why do I always feel like I am playing hookie or something when I actually read them? The problem with this is that I end up with stacks of my hoarded journals that have not been passed on. I try to make sure I get them last so it does not matter how long they sit on my desk, unfortunately, what usually happens is that I get them last... except for our director upstairs. So, I just hope she has been busy enough to not realize that she has not been getting all of the library journals!

The reason I mention this is that last month when I actually tried to read an issue of LJ, I realized that most of the issue is reviews of new books. None of these books have any bearing whatsoever on my job. So instead, what I did back in the beginning of August was find books that I could request through my local public library for my own personal reading! AND, since I was a month or two behind, the books reviewed in this particular issue should be coming out any day now!

The book that struck the strongest chord with me was called Juliet by Anne Fortier. I picked it up from my library earlier this week and cannot stop reading it! I thought it was a YA book when I read the review, but it does not really seem like it when reading it, so I could have been wrong about that. It is a modern day story of Julie/Guilietta who was born in Italy but raised in America by an aunt after her parents death. She goes back to Italy looking for a treasure that her mother left for her. But she is pulled into the original/true story of Guilietta (her ancestor) and Romeo. You guessed it! The original story that Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was based on. It skips back and forth between the modern story and the story from A.D. 1340. So far it is fantastic! I know it is fiction, but the research that had to go into a story like this, which is based in history, always amazes me!

I think I am about half way done with it now, so perhaps next week I can give an update on how I liked the rest of it!

So my "Professional Development" time at work has really become my "find new books to read" time. Just don't tell the director! For that matter, don't mention that I have been hoarding LJs either!

Cars, jobs, and books...

Okay, okay, so I am a bad blogger! I never claimed to be otherwise. And, if Dorothy Parker cannot be a little unpredictable and irresponsible then what is this world coming to?! Let's just say I lost track of time at the Algonquin...

Really, life is just unpredictable. Just when you think things are going smoothly and you can relax for a while, well, your car dies! And I really loved my car! It is (was?) a 1996 Pontiac Sunfire. No power locks, no power windows, no little remote for unlocking doors or opening trunks. The air conditioning had given out a few years ago and the trunk was slightly smushed, hence no need for a trunk popper as I rarely opened the trunk since it had become a bit finicky about closing again! But I loved it. It was comfortable! You know that old couch which has formed to your body and is just the right size and shape for you so you feel like you are being hugged? THAT was my Sunfire.

Last week it died.

At least it waited until I got converted to a real job from my Graduate Research Assistant position, and moved into my new house (rented, not bought). So I know I will be employed long enough to pay for a new car. Hopefully. (And I use the term "new" loosely!)

So, I am actually very excited about my new car. It is a 2009 Mazda 3. The sedan, not the hatchback. It has LOTS of buttons and "power" things for me to play with! And this week-end I am going to drive it up to Denver to test it out! (Really, I was already supposed to go to Denver, since we have the concert tickets!) It is going to be a blast! And I can try out my new headlights (I think they are the nice Xenon ones!)

And if that were not enough, I get to see an old friend and go to Red Rocks Amphitheater to see Yonder Mountain String Band and Leftover Salmon! Woo hooo!

On to other matters... my librarian position is going to continue for at least 3 more years. Which is great news, I know, I know. BUT. I have been feeling ambivalent about it. I miss archives. It would be great to move into the archives "here," but I know their budget is even less than the library's so the chances of a position opening are slim to none. But a girl can hope. And I have been in touch with the "historian" so maybe he will think of me if something does open. And there are other groups which could have something open eventually.

Don't get me wrong. I do like my job. And most days I really like working here and doing what I do. But some days I just really miss archives. And preservation.

Enough moping! I am done with moping! I recently read Mennonite in a Little Black Dress and highly recommend it. I think any woman can relate to it, even if you do not have a history with Mennonites. I loved her relationship with her sister! And her mid-life rethinking about her life. What woman cannot relate to that? Okay, perhaps some of you are still a bit young to be thinking that way, but trust me. It will come. So read and enjoy! She even includes a few recipes of dishes she has mentioned in the book (the recipes are in the "additional resources" part so make sure you get that edition). I have to try her hot potato salad and see how it compares with my grandma's recipe!

In closing, I will try to do better. Though I might have to switch to Wednesdays for a while...

I have missed the Fourmiddables and promise not to stray so long next time...

And We're Walking

When I was in the UK for the first time I did this thing my friends loved. I played tour guide. "And we're walking..we're walking and we're stopping". And I find myself doing that now only there's a difference....instead of stopping to point out some great historical point of interest. Instead I'm stopping to pee...well I'm not peeing, but the two dogs I'm walking with are. I always say to them, to no avail, this is a walk not a pee. But they never understand. They don't listen they just want to pee pee pee.

I like to walk. I like to put on my MP3 player and just tune out the world. But I like to walk my dog. I just don't like to stop so much for peeing.

Although maybe I should be worrying about stopping since I'm walking to get myself ready for a possible UK adventure. Please pray for my dad whose health depends on whether or not I get to go.

So we're walking, we're walking and we're walking.